I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
