Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
