Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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