i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
