if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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