i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
