when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
