If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
