That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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