Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize