Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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