My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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