look no pants
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shame - the story of my life.
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