I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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