If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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