I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
