69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
