Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
