P.S. I can't hear my feet
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Randomize
