4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
