We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
