I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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