are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're so nebulous sometimes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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