Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
