Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
