Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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