whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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