I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
