We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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