i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
