I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
