just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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