Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
