My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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