I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
