i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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