i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
