Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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