dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
