Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I deserve this hangover.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize