Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
