I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am never drinking with the goths again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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