My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
