so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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