It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
