I hate your face
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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