my vag is so smooth its legendary
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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