I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
