...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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