Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
