Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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