Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
