My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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