Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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