There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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