Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
