I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
