Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
