You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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